LOVE BETTER CAMP

by Jackie Young
www.jackieyoungwrites.com

Life brings lessons to us every day. Relationships are one of the best “teachers”. It’s where we learn our greatest lessons, whether easy or painful. Maybe we get the lesson in the moment; sometimes we learn them after the relationship ends. I believe relationships aren’t about the other person – they’re a mirror to show you your own stuff up close and personal, giving you the space to address them.

While sorting through the pain of a love-gone-wrong, my thoughts centered on what I’d lost. And yet, I realized that THAT relationship – the one that had me painfully living out the title of my poetry collection? THAT “relationship” brought me so much more than it cost me. It birthed a “Beautiful Epiphany” in my spirit: EACH RELATIONSHIP YOU ENGAGE IN SHOULD WALK YOU DEEPER INTO WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

That should be our goal in all our relationships – with self, family, friends, significant others, careers, God. Whether it’s for a reason, season or lifetime – inside the grace of those authentic interactions, I want to end up being a better person.

When you interact with people from that perspective – knowing that whatever the outcome, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of self – you leave your expectations and fears at the door. You learn to truly enjoy the interaction and embrace the lessons it brings.

While hobbling along Love’s learning curve, I got that lesson plan but pushed it away. The catalyst for bringing it to my conscious was a different relationship, one that models that epiphany for me. It, along with the original epiphany, has been a wake-up call to my spirit. It challenges every comfort zone I have. That’s where the growth occurs.

In the midst of my pain, I saw something beautiful – little did I know that part of that beauty was my own reflection. And so, I want to get closer – to go beyond the surface, dig deeper into myself. I look back and see clearly where the hand-off between pain and promise occurred, the place where it hurt the most. And I realize that it wasn’t about him walking away, not choosing me.

Truthfully, he wasn’t my final destination. He was simply part of the journey. He wasn’t meant to go any further. Anything more would have stunted my growth. And so, I pushed myself to stop praying my “WANT” and accept God’s “WILL”.

T.D. Jakes says “If people can walk away from you – for whatever reason, let them – your destiny isn’t tied to the one who walks away.” He’s right – your destiny is tied to the one who stays…in the face of, in spite of, because of…for however long they’re mean to stay…to teach you, to mirror your stuff, to help you grow.

Love is a journey – not a destination – and even when “THE ONE” shows up, the journey doesn’t end. You’re just getting to the good part.

To beautiful journeys! As Maya Angelou says, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey.”

by Wanza Leftwich
www.thegospelwriter.blogspot.com

There is an awesomeness to marriage that most couples do not experience. Within the walls of marriage, you and your spouse have the ability to transform your lives and the lives of the people you love. You can have anything you agree on. Whatever your hearts’ desire, it shall be done unto you, if you simply agree.

Sound simple? Actually it is. The bible says where two or three are gathered in my name, and agree on the same thing, it will not be denied. Do you realize you and your spouse equal two in this instance? You are two people that can come together and watch miracles happen.

The key is you must agree. This is where it can get a little messy. Do you and your spouse agree often? Do you come together and decide on the little things and the big decisions. If you do, you will see an awesome move in your lives. We are deceived many days when we stand on our own judgment and insist that something is done our own way or not at all.

You have missed your blessing, your purpose and intended miracle you so needed. “And the two shall become one.” In marriage, when you agree, you become one. If two physical beings become one mentally and spiritually nothing they ask will be denied.

Not too long ago, my husband and I were told that we were unable to have children. After three years of fertility testing, the doctors concluded my best chance to conceive was to have Invitro Fertilization. At this point, my husband had had enough. He began to say, “you are going to have a baby.” I began to agree with him despite my medical history. We began to speak about it, laugh about it and pray about having our baby.

We continued to agree that we would one day have a baby. Nearly six months later, after we joined our faith, the doctors told me I was pregnant. Our faith and our agreement produced a result that defied science and medicine.

Take a moment and agree with your spouse. Your spouse may not have the best idea, but even the worse idea will work, if you agree. Don’t waste time arguing and suffering. It is easier to agree and live life fully than to argue and live beneath your privilege.

Wanza Leftwich, The Gospel Writer is a missionary, freelance writer, speaker and author of Sunday Morning. She is married to the love of her life and best friend, Arthur, III. Log on and visit her inspiring blog at: www.thegospelwriter.blogspot.com

by Tracey Michae’l Lewis
www.lewisconsultinggroup.com

Remember when you were younger…maybe in middle school or high school…and you found yourself liking someone so much that they were all you thought about? I remember some of my first “loves” in high school and how I would daydream about them and our future together. I would dare to say that I loved them. Love as I knew it anyway. In fact, I would venture to say that the love I had for them was the purest I’ve ever experienced. Not yet tainted by the hurts, pains, and rejections of life and the people in it. Not yet burdened by false or unrealistic unexpectations or, for me at least, terribly lustful desires. All I wanted was to be told I was pretty. All I wanted was to go out and have fun. At 14, 15 or 16 and in spite of my own childhood journeys, I still trusted people wholeheartedly. I was still willing to go the extra mile to show a boy how I felt. I was still willing to be talked about if the boy wasn’t the “popular” dude. I was still willing to dress, talk, dance, and move in a way that would impress him.

I’ve lost that simplicity and that pure way of loving. The increasing sediment that has settled over my life has caused me to harden in my approach to love. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still quite compassionate and I still love quite hard…but it’s not the same. And now I’m realizing how much that has impacted my relationship with God. You see, I’m not thinking about the way I used to “love” so that I can love my man or people better (although admittedly there are some things I could learn from my younger self).

I’m talking about loving God better. I want to love God like I did when I was a child. With an overwhelming desire to please. To trust Him implicitly. As a child, my curiosity never got in the way of my love. I could wonder and question a thing without my inquisitions tarnishing how I felt about it. Sadly, that is not the case today.

I want to be willing to go the extra mile to show God how I feel about Him. To stand up and claim Him as my GREAT LOVE even though He may not be the most popular one. To not allow the hurts and pains of my life to interfere with the purity of love I give Him. I want to do my very best to love God as He loves me…unconditionally. My sin might get in the way sometimes. My humanity might get in my way sometimes. But I could try. I really should try. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:15 (NIV)