LOVE BETTER CAMP

by Jackie Young
www.jackieyoungwrites.com

Life brings lessons to us every day. Relationships are one of the best “teachers”. It’s where we learn our greatest lessons, whether easy or painful. Maybe we get the lesson in the moment; sometimes we learn them after the relationship ends. I believe relationships aren’t about the other person – they’re a mirror to show you your own stuff up close and personal, giving you the space to address them.

While sorting through the pain of a love-gone-wrong, my thoughts centered on what I’d lost. And yet, I realized that THAT relationship – the one that had me painfully living out the title of my poetry collection? THAT “relationship” brought me so much more than it cost me. It birthed a “Beautiful Epiphany” in my spirit: EACH RELATIONSHIP YOU ENGAGE IN SHOULD WALK YOU DEEPER INTO WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

That should be our goal in all our relationships – with self, family, friends, significant others, careers, God. Whether it’s for a reason, season or lifetime – inside the grace of those authentic interactions, I want to end up being a better person.

When you interact with people from that perspective – knowing that whatever the outcome, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of self – you leave your expectations and fears at the door. You learn to truly enjoy the interaction and embrace the lessons it brings.

While hobbling along Love’s learning curve, I got that lesson plan but pushed it away. The catalyst for bringing it to my conscious was a different relationship, one that models that epiphany for me. It, along with the original epiphany, has been a wake-up call to my spirit. It challenges every comfort zone I have. That’s where the growth occurs.

In the midst of my pain, I saw something beautiful – little did I know that part of that beauty was my own reflection. And so, I want to get closer – to go beyond the surface, dig deeper into myself. I look back and see clearly where the hand-off between pain and promise occurred, the place where it hurt the most. And I realize that it wasn’t about him walking away, not choosing me.

Truthfully, he wasn’t my final destination. He was simply part of the journey. He wasn’t meant to go any further. Anything more would have stunted my growth. And so, I pushed myself to stop praying my “WANT” and accept God’s “WILL”.

T.D. Jakes says “If people can walk away from you – for whatever reason, let them – your destiny isn’t tied to the one who walks away.” He’s right – your destiny is tied to the one who stays…in the face of, in spite of, because of…for however long they’re mean to stay…to teach you, to mirror your stuff, to help you grow.

Love is a journey – not a destination – and even when “THE ONE” shows up, the journey doesn’t end. You’re just getting to the good part.

To beautiful journeys! As Maya Angelou says, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey.”